The Female Moon Cycle and Ancestral Wisdom: Beyond the Ideal Weight

Noelle Kovary’s words are a gentle disruption to the relentless drumbeat of diet culture: “Many women today have been put under the impression that restricting calorie intake, particularly from the more nutrient-dense foods, and maintaining a lower than natural body weight is optimal. Unfortunately, these are counterproductive in order for ovulation to occur. Insufficient calorie intake and body weight can contribute to inadequate cholesterol and fat supplies necessary for the production of fertility hormones such as progesterone. Although no one wants to hear it, it must be said. Your healthy weight might not equate to your ideal body.”

Our physical forms are not static landscapes. We journey through life in phases—from the vibrant energy of the maiden, the nurturing embrace of motherhood, and the wise strength of the crone.

Our "ideal" body in one phase may not serve us optimally in another. The demands on our system change and the building blocks required for vitality shift. Kovary’s insight highlights the crucial role of sufficient nourishment, reminding us that our reproductive health is often intrinsically linked to the things we’ve been conditioned to fear.

As our bodies navigate through life stages, our definition of "healthy" deserves a broader lens. It’s not solely about a number on a scale or dress size. It’s about a holistic sense of well-being.

At your current weight, do you feel good? Can you move your body in ways that bring you joy and strength? Do you possess the energy to navigate your day with vibrancy, or are you consistently battling fatigue? These are the internal cues of our own unique physiology that often get drowned out by external pressures and prescribed ideals.

This isn’t a permission slip for abandoning mindful choices or indulging in a constant state of overconsumption. It’s an invitation to a more intuitive and compassionate relationship with our bodies. It’s about recognizing that our "healthy" weight, the weight at which our bodies function optimally and we feel genuinely well, might not align with the often-narrow definition of our perceived "ideal."

Individual body structure will be a different journey for everyone who reads this. For instance, in my early twenties with a D cup and a 24-inch waist, I experienced significant back pain, and I was tired. I’m 5’2”. Efforts to build the necessary strength for support proved insufficient, leading to a breast reduction that resulted in a very small B cup. I felt great!

Following childbirth and nursing, my breast size gradually returned, even though I had gotten back to a size 2 after having my second child. (I gained 80 pounds during that pregnancy and I was patient with myself to get back to that size 2.) It further increased during a subsequent pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. I had to heal my thyroid after that pregnancy. After two years, my breast size is currently larger than it was in my early twenties, and I am grateful for an increase in my waist size (several inches larger than my early twenties). It helped that my hip size increased as well. Could I make my waist smaller? Absolutely, and I have. But guess what? The back pain returns.

Initially, navigating this shift was challenging, as it diverged significantly from the body image ideals I had internalized growing up. I spent most of my childhood as a competitive dancer. Ultimately, however, I feel great and have a sense of well-being. And look, I’ll be honest, I’m not at all upset that I’m curvier now. If I wanted to be less curvy, I’d go jump on a treadmill for an hour several days a week, but I don’t feel as good cause I’ve done that too.

At my healthy weight, I don’t have any pain or discomfort. I have flexibility. I take walks outside and do yoga. I eat healthy, nutrient-dense foods and mostly cook from scratch. I stay away from processed foods as much as possible, and so do my children. I eat food that has seen the sun, and stay as far away as I can from food manufactured in a building somewhere.

Perhaps the real work lies in shifting our focus from an external ideal to an internal barometer. It’s about asking ourselves honest questions about our energy levels, our ability to move freely, and our overall sense of vitality. How is your skin, hair, moon cycle (if you have not yet gone through menopause), and digestion? It’s about honoring the wisdom of our changing bodies, recognizing the different needs of the maiden, the mother, and the crone, and all the fluid transitions in between.

Let’s release the rigid grip of a singular "ideal" and instead embrace the dynamic, ever-evolving landscape of our own unique physicality. True health isn't a fixed destination; it's a continuous journey of listening, honoring, and nourishing the incredible vessel that carries us through each precious phase of life.

Again, this is in no way designed to give anyone medical advice, but to show you there is another way of thinking about our health.